WordCare

Bitter
bitter sweet that I
flicker
everytime you come around
bitter
I wanna let it go
but I still see you in my memory
I don’t wanna be

Bitter
you make me sicker
the way we still bicker
one touch, I’m no quitter
it feels like glitter
you know you fit her

Sweeter
nothing can beat her
you wanna feed her
baby come treat her
but instead you leave her
and sweet turns to…

Bitter, bitter
bitter sweet that I
flicker
everytime you come around
bitter
I wanna let it go
but I still see you in my memory
I don’t wanna be

Bitter
cause I see the picture
and you ain’t a fixture
but come join the mixture
flip it and whisper
I’ll give you shivers so

Sweet
the more that I need
the more that I plead
and you plant the seed
and I feel releif
but then you just leave
and I can’t believe
I’m left here

Bitter, bitter
bitter sweet that I
flicker
everytime you come around
bitter
I wanna let it go
but I still see you in my memory
I dont wanna be…

Sweetly terrified
Every single night
As I confess to you
As a whisper to myself
Just to feel
For one moment

A temporary love.

I'm stuck

Thinkin bout me up on you
Nothing to do
Baby just let me come thru

You know the things I can do
Do them to you
I know you like it

I know, you tried it
Like how I ride it
Like how I light it up
Like how it's tight and rough
Baby you know I'm tough
Come and give me that love

Again today,
she spoke to me. 

It’s been a weird couple of days
and I find myself going crazy 
thinking thoughts I never 
normally would
put together 
but I am 
falling apart. 

And after an entire day of bedridden sadness 
I felt her nudge 
“Get outside”

And as my feet moved,
becoming connected to the earth again,
I could feel her reach right through me
up my pacing legs 
through my racing heart 
right into my mind 
and take control. 

“My easily consumed and distracted girl”

The cold bitter wind nipped my nose. 
I was finally fully awake. 

“You forget you have control. 
That this life is yours to make. 
You make the ripples, the waves. 
You do not let the wave ride you. 
As a daughter of mine
You embody the greatest gift 
The gift of 
C  r  e  a  t  i  o  n  
If you are overtaken 
overwhelmed 
anxious and scared 
in your current situation 
then, my forgetful girl, 
you simply create 
what 
you 
want.” 

And just like that, 
I knew what to do. 

Written January 5, 2020

You cracked open this can of worms 
And poured it all over the place 
All over me 
So all over me that I am consumed  
So covered 
So coated 
In its contents 
In this new confusion  

But you left me to figure this out on my own 
You know, I'm very expressive 
And you have me feeling 
Fighting  
All these different  
E    m    o    t    i    o    n    s   
With no one to express them  
To. 

Let me express them  
To you. 

December 27th 2019

 

It's extremely frustrating that I still 
melt 
at the thought of you
dissolving 
into parts of me
when I know I can't remember you like that anymore.

• Written October 15, 2019

"Such a shame,"
Her demeaning tone spoke down to me.
"A pretty girl with no one to love."

"I am in love"

I replied to her, 

"I am in love with my window
With my curtains
My space
I am in love with the house
It's structure
It's place
I am in love with the evenings 
With the quiet
With the lights 
I am in love with the creeks
On the stairs 
Late at night
I am in the with the moments 
Where I'm alone
My own friend
I am in love with my thoughts 
My own beginnings 
My own ends 
I am in love

l o v e 

I am in love with myself again."

• Written October 4, 2019

Accepting that it's not my time
Accepting that it's not my time 
Accepting that it's not my time 

I have to focus
regroup
to get over 
what you 
turned out to be 
cause its true
it hurt me 
but not you 
so...

Accepting that it's not my time
Accepting that it's not my time 
Accepting that it's not my time 

I need to learn
and move on
resist you
and your charm
cause it's fake
the real's gone
what was right 
is now wrong
so...

Accepting that it's not my time
Accepting that it's not my time 
Accepting that it's not my time

From now on
I choose me
I choose love
I choose to be
my number one
cause I see
that I was 
your two or three 
so...

Accepting that it's not my time 

Accepting that you are not mine

Accepting that I know my line

Accepting that I'll be just fine.

Written September 8, 2019

With despair
He brought me to my knees
And my heart sank,
Fell out my body and dove
Deep into the earthy soil
No longer my own to give.

And then from the silence she rose
Creator,
Mother Earth,
Her purest form.
“Your lonely days aren’t over…yet”
She spoke to me.

And then I knew he wasn’t the one.

August 16, 2019

March 23 2019

Nah bro –
cause I pity you.
I’m leveling up
while you go back to
everything you were hiding,
using my space
to escape to.
But it’s cool,
I know Karma,
and she is
coming
to
get
you.